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Fist of the Lays The Smackdown! For 07/03/2009
Hello Ladies and anyone else who reads this. Tonight I bring something for all ages. Yes true. I bring you …
THE FIST provides the SmackDown!
It would be in 3-D, but be realistic. I just do not have that in my budget. I, no however, have "Translation Technology in the rough" for all of us. So, without further farewell, let's get this party!
Begin tonight, the first since The Bash SmackDown with CM Punk. He just wants to tell people what happened in the Bash in the event that they were too cheap to pay for it.
"Hi, I'm a man of lies Honor. I did not win the match but had no intention of kicking the referee Jeff Hardy. I'm not the kind of guy to break the rules, But Jeff is a big head elf poop! I'll give you a rematch when I apologize for being a big idiot! "
This is when Teddy Long comes out. Teddy explains that "Woah. Jeff will have to fight again in Night of Champions. How cool is that? Oh, it gets better. You'll have to work with him tonight, as you look at Chris Jericho and Edge in a fight with a partner! Beach How do you like dat?
Cue the music for a very neglected, Jeff Hardy. Jeff exclaims that is tired of excuses and wants everyone knows that "punk is a tricky bit!" Punk fires back with, "Whoa!" No, Do not hurt me! "We must work together tonight! Oh, Jeff, and seeing all the children, do not do drugs. Seriously. It's bad. Also, do not hurt me. I'm a champion fragile. "
MATCH # 1
RICKY ORTIZ (Uh, who?) VS. FINLAY
Not all parties have to have a lot of meaning. This is clearly a rivalry that extends generations. The Longest Ortiz of the top-east of Ireland clan battles against Finlay Belfast. Ok, one of those places I was made … Wait .. only did Ricky Ortiz hand a microphone? Oh, no.
"Hey baby. Do not worry about your friend little less. You are here facing the next World WWE Heavyweight Champion, Intermediate Random! So cheer up little guy. I'll go easy on you to break in. "
Finlay apparently found his family rivalry more important than the smiles, pats for Ricky and the game started. A Rolling Hills in an attack down butt first body gets a two count. Ortiz Fire back a bit before Finlay counters with the Celtic Cross. 1,2,3.
Winner – Finlay
Party Rating 1.7 / 5
Well, to be honest, this was nothing more than an introduction to SmackDown Finlay. He need not be a party of high caliber.
Dolph Ziggler find behind the stage doing what I can only hope is psudeo-poses of yoga. (Otherwise, it was really inappropriate.) When he came through Mary, that "Mans Up" a little, and introduces himself. She asks if he is preparing for his party, and can only respond with "Well, of course! Being focused is the only way to win. "
Of course, this is when I had to spit my Dr. Pepper out due to overwhelming laughter. I have another drink and continued.
A conversation uncomfortable little later, and found that, apparently, that "made fun" last night. They agree to go out again, and the commentary Dolph farewell is (and this will not be paraphrased.) "I think I might get lucky."
So when I returned from the bathroom after throw up a few minutes, I regret eating all that food in the last two weeks. Moving!
MATCH # 2
Dolph Ziggler VS. R-Truth
Before the game, they recap what happened at The Bash (You can read my report for further information … Nah, that's not a shameless self-promotion … It helps!> _>)
The game begins with R-Truth Ziggler kneeing in the stomach and invited "What's Up." R-Truth counters with some pretty acrobatic impressive and ends with a jumping kick to the head Ziggler. A hip Launch (Seriously?) In an attempt to pin (double Really?) Gets a count 1. (Ok, that makes sense.) Ziggler returns the favor with an inverted body slam. Ziggler continues with a series of elbow drops and a time to straighten hair. R-Truth comes after it just to get a top rope guillotine and jumps Ziggler. Facebuster Ziggler jumps with a reverse (Yes, it was in the back of the head in place.). 1 2 3.
Winner – Dolph Ziggler
Match Rating 2.3 / 5
Personally I'm curious to know what you propose to do with Dolph. Why Why push him now? * Shakes head and sighs *
PSEUDO FIGHT # 3
FINLAY VS. BATISTA
The show skips the past and shows a match between Batista and Finlay back from 2006. Finlay has control of most of the game that few observations and a stike. Khali walks to the ring as champion (In Really? What should I do more research) to harass Batista with his mere presence. Finlay attacks, it said in a spinning sidewalk slam. Khali steps to intervene. Batista goes after he presentation Khali counters tight control, and that is where the ends of the clip.
Match Rating – 2.6 / 5
Would been better if it had been in progress, and not just cut and get out and play clips.
And it's time for another edition of Cryme Tyme's Word Up Word of the week is Wangsta. While describing their meaning, they decide to show the bullies become tour guides. After checking the girls, make fun of a cowboy in Asia the Wangsta comes to them. It is a poor white man who thinks he has street cred. Needless to say, it does not. Cryme Time, instead of hitting him with a chair, just cut the next match.
MATCH # 4
Rey Mysterio VS. KANE
NO title bout
Mysterio looks set to emerge unscathed during about ten seconds before Kane fires back with a big clothesline, flattening our little champion. Mysterio counters a clothesline running with a drop toe hold, Kane beating the second string. 619 attempt thwarted by an attempt to leave the chokeslam Mysterio. Kane simply chooses to embark on the corner instead. Commercial Court.
We return to see Kane continues to dominate with a huge boot to meet the King. Kane keeps pressure on King, focusing on the back. A backbreaker submission hold-like, and Rey kicks Kane in the face to get some respite. Kane charges after King, but another to keep your feet fall beat Kane's face on the top turnbuckle. Fire King back and is on the top rope, only to be offset by a hit Kane in the air. Kane goes for a chokeslam, offset by a dropkick in the 619. Kane counters attempt pin with a chokeslam. Kane 1,2,3.
Winner – Kane
Match Rating – 2.3 / 5
The standard David Vs. Goliath match. Kane won well, so … is not an exact analogue.
Khali comes out to defend King armed with a steel chair. (You can find out why my book The Bash article. Not yet shameless enough) Kane flees through the crowd like a little girl who's a monster under the bed. Khali does not give chase.
Chris Jericho is King happy getting owned by Kane. He will claim his revenge the King NEXT WEEK! Edge comes in and talks about how easy it is to smash two fools disjointed with all hopes and dreams. For those of you watching at home, goes like this …
Jericho: "We are awesome!"
Edge: "I know, of course! We are so freaking awesome!"
Jericho: "Seriously, amazing!"
Edge Jericho: "We are totally winning! Yay us!"
MATCH # 5
THE DYNASTY OF HART (with Natalia) VS. Cryme Tyme
JTG starts the game with a string of hits that lead to Facebuster Kidd from the turnbuckle. JTG Kidd puts the ring in a couple of surfboards, while extending crying a lot. (I heard that it increases their power … Give it a try. It works!) JTG makes the hot tag and Shad comes in and cleans house. Shad goes for the pin, and Kidd breaks. As the referee Kidd ushers outside the ring for JTG catches Smith with a top rope guillotine and Shad hits a leg sweep backward Russia. 1,2,3.
Winner – Cryme Tyme
Match Rating – 2.1 / 5
Other "Let SmachDown new talent show" party. Not bad, but not surprising.
Raw Rebound shows what happened on Raw? Want to see what happened? Check out our Article premiums and available for viewing! (Well, that one was pretty blatant, even if they do not promote themselves.)
MATCH # 6
VS Michelle McCool and Layla. MELINA AND MARIA
Layla and Melina start the match off with Surprising Layla Melina in the head. Melina fires back and Layla roughs up a bit before tagging Maria. Maria exposes some punishment before one of his shots are captured. Layla responds with a kick to the other leg, beating Mary divisions and makes the tag. Maria McCool throws a leg submission, and the label Melina hot, who arrives just before McCool strikes off the road and tags in Layla. McCool Melina knock down, and lands her finisher for the pinfall on Layla.
Winner – Melina and Maria
Match Rating – 1.8 / 5
I've seen worse games of the woman, but I'm still really yet to be impressed. I'm afraid I never will be.
Morrison and Teddy Long is backstage talking to both Michael Jackson and how Morrison defeated CM Punk week past. He wants a title shot after Night of Champions. Break in the songs of MJ and turns them into jewels Morrison as "Thriller! Was a thriller me how I Punk! "There is nothing clear, but the seeds have been sown.
MATCH # 7
And EDGE CHRIS JERICHO VS. Jeff Hardy and CM Punk
Edge and Punk start us after we give away broadcasters on WGN Superstars match that took place between Edge and Punk when Punk lost due to injury to the eye. Punk gets a slight edge labels and Jeff Hardy. Edge Hardy roughs up a little more before going back in. Punk Punk Edge marking punches and tags in Jericho. Hardy tags again and performs a leg drop from the tensor of a second charge. Punk and Hardy clean the ring and take a moment to look at each other as we move forward in a commercial.
Hardy is in the ring against Edge, who has the advantage. Hardy fires back with some attacks, and goes for the label, but Punk is holding his eye, not want to label. Hardy does the pin and burst. Hardy makes a mad dash to the corner, but Punk is on his holding the bad corner of the eye. Hardy lands some blows before throwing a Whisper In The Wind performed in Jericho. Hardy Jericho before tags can be lifted. Edge Hardy label stops, and get the Twist of Fate to their problems. Hardy Punk Punk hits him in. tag is applied to the GTS, but is offset by Edge. Tags in Jericho and sets out some pain. Both men collided with each hitting a double clothesline down. As Punk makes his way to get a label, Hardy boasts a new lesion in the eye and flails to the ground in fake pain, leaving Punk in the ring. He tries GTS, but Edge tags in Jericho. Edge lands a spear and gets the 1,2,3.
Winner – Edge and Chris Jericho
Match Rating – 2.8 / 5
Not a miserable match, but Jeff Hardy shaking eye injury was CLASSIC. I have serious laughed almost as hard as when he said Dolph win with focus.
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Frankie J Ft. Baby Bash – Obsession